To the elusive Melanie, my WordPress… wait for it…

First supermarket staff became ‘Colleagues’, then (as this article in the Daily Mail explains) burger bar workers became ‘Mobile Sustenance Facilitators’ and school dinner ladies became ‘Education Centre Nourishment Consultants’. But in my opinion the latest email from WordPress tops them all – and there are TWO HUGE reasons why my husband and I are currently rolling around the floor laughing with irony…

This email was from… wait for it… cue drum roll and fanfare… Melanie, my HAPPINESS ENGINEER.

But, dear Melanie, Happiness Engineer, you have already peed me off.

FIRSTLY, the email was an invoice for my WordPress Domain Mapping (Domain Mapping is apparently why you see Creative Copy in the url at the top of this page). And you know what? Surprisingly, invoices don’t make me happy. Unless I’m the one sending them out and I know I’m going to be paid by return.

SECONDLY, Melanie (who was kind enough to include her photograph) says: “Need help? No problem! Our Happiness Engineers are here to answer your questions & help you set up your site.” (Gah – used of the ampersand… so sloppy…)

Great, I thought. I’ll contact Melanie, my Happiness Engineer to find out new ways she can make me happy. Like how to include a blog feed on my copywriting website.

So I clicked on the Contact Support link… only to be directed to one of those mega-irritating pages where you type in your question and it directs you to a list of possible pre-written answers.

Indeed it looks like it’s actually impossible for WordPress customers to contact either Melanie or one of the other Happiness Engineers.

Oh, I lie. There is a way. But it takes ages to find, and it’s simply your standard email notification page. No mention of Happiness Engineers.

Has Melanie, Happiness Engineer, made me happy?

Has she heckers.

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