Cloaking reduced loyalty rewards – not a great way to win and retain customers

Dear Tesco (who has just reduced the value of its Clubcard vouchers for restaurants, etc), We customers aren’t stupid, you know. When you say that you have “listened to your customers” before making this move, I’d like to know which customers agreed that, yes, it’d be a fantastic idea to reduce the value of loyalty incentives. Also, words such as “simplified” and phrases like “to make it more straightforward” are absolute bullsh!t corporate jargon that’s simply there to cloak what you are really up to which is cutting loyalty rewards by a significant amount, AND without giving customers any notice.


Don’t be afraid to ask for more information

That’s the Tip of the Day for my trainee copywriter son who messaged me to say he’d been asked to write a blog and all he’d been given were a load of graphs and technical lingo. Continue reading “Don’t be afraid to ask for more information”

Yeah, but WHAT does the product DO? WHAT does the text MEAN?

I have a European client who sends me English translations of their marketing literature for me to put into easy-to-understand plain English. I do this on a regular basis and we have a great working relationship. And, apart from the odd curious phrase which I have to query, I have no problem understanding what they’re on about, even though the products are pretty damn technical. Continue reading “Yeah, but WHAT does the product DO? WHAT does the text MEAN?”

Get those apostrophes under control!

Apostrophes are going wild! Everywhere I look I’m seeing apostrophes being misused – on printed leaflets, posters, websites, sales letters… Aaarrgghh!

I want to scream out that plurals don’t have an apostrophe. In other words it’s not customer’s, it’s customers (as in: our customers are never wrong). Unless the sentence is something like: our customers’ needs. And when you’re referring to more than just one customer, it IS customers’ and not customer’s. Our customer’s needs refers to just one customer.

But when it’s just a plural – our customers are freaking fantastic… what the chuffing heck would we do without our stupendously brilliant and awesome customers… – there is no apostrophe.



Copywriting portfolio: just where do I start with this little lot?

IMG_20170421_154607518_HDRToday I tipped out my portfolio bag onto the bedroom floor and these are just the projects that landed on top of the massive pile – AND all of this stuff is from the first ten years of my copywriting career. Most of it is from the first five years. I’ve been copywriting for 27 years in total so if I were to show my entire portfolio on my new website it would take forever and a day. So just where do I start? How can I give potential new clients a flavour of my work when they ask to see some work samples? Good grief, if this little lot doesn’t prove that I know what I’m doing as a copywriter, then I don’t know what will!!

“There was a time when British copywriting was considered the best in the world. Is that still the case?”

… so says the DMA (Direct Marketing Association) with regards to this video of a group of admen and women discussing the state of UK copywriting today. Basically, modern advertising is BORING. And long gone are the days of the funny, memorable, famous TV ads and posters that everyone remembers: Hamlet cigars, Heineken, Cinzano, etc. I started out in advertising working in the same building as two of these advertising ‘greats’: John Salmon and Tony Brignull (at the famous CDP, 110 Euston Road, London, home of some of the best copywriters ever to set pencil to paper). I have also won awards for my copywriting from the DMA who posted the above video on YouTube. Continue reading ““There was a time when British copywriting was considered the best in the world. Is that still the case?””